Here, a devoted mother, at the same time Empress Catherine II, writes to her illegitimate son, 26-year-old Count Bobrinsky, when he broke down in youthful follies: “I forgot your previous behavior. You have a good heart; justice and respect for the truth “. You ardently participate in public welfare and zealously desire to serve your Fatherland. In essence, you are frugal, but you are not orderly and often act without looking back. At the present moment, indifferent indifference and despair alternately possess you, because you suffer from some debauchery. Your affairs are very upset, and it is still impossible to say how and to what extent it will be possible to save the important fortune you have (from me).”
Praise, pity, put on the right track – then exile to Revel (Tallinn), give more capital, but give custody to the wrong hands. May he live calm, meek and enlightened. “I know very well that Revel is not like Paris or London, and that you miss it; but it is useful that you live like that. Get well and improve a little, and you will feel better” (Russian archive, 1876).
He did so, and afterwards lived a very prosperous life. By the way, how did he respond to his mother? “Deign to accept the wishes of many years, fed by a heart that is imbued with the consciousness of Your graces and beats only to win them back with perseverance and diligence.”
We are unlikely to receive such letters from our children. We just learned to write and speak like this. Or maybe they never really knew how, because there is no one in our roots: serfs, raznochintsy, priests, people from the East, immigrants from the then poor Europe, and even counts, princes, albeit in great rarity.
That we take a piece of paper and write on it: “May life bless you, my son!” Will our son understand? Won’t you laugh?
Mikhail Speransky – upstart, reformer, widower, great. Or he rose to the very heights of the empire, then he fell into exile, almost to execution. Who wanted to make his only daughter, Elizabeth, who remained in his arms after the death of his wife, also the only one, loved by him? She looks like just a person.
He wrote her many letters, they are lovingly preserved and brought to us. “It is foolish to have a mind that does not turn to the good; and this good consists in leading people to peace and reciprocal love, looking at everything from the best and most benevolent side, excusing weaknesses and correcting errors without offending those who err. : in a word, to present truth and virtue in the most attractive form without gossip or gossip. Gossip is the infection of our time and the greatest ulcer of the true mind” (Russian archive, 1868).
Mikhail Speransky to his daughter Elizabeth: It is foolish to have a mind that does not direct it towards the good, and this good consists in leading people to peace. Photo: Wikipedia
Kindness, love for people, the best aspects of life! May fate bring our children to this! “The science of distinguishing characters and adapting to them without losing one’s own is the most difficult and the most useful in the world.” His letters are full of this: to teach, to have time to say, to create a person, to educate, to love.
– The Lord is with you! -That’s how he ended his letters. Or not, like this: “God bless you, dear girl, with all the heavenly blessings from her.” That we should take a piece of paper and write on it after him: “May life bless you, my son!” Will our son understand? Won’t you laugh? We don’t know, we can’t even guess. What if he doesn’t laugh and remember and write to his children in the same way?
And who was Elizaveta Speranskaya? The writer, Frolova-Bagreeva by her husband, the owner of the literary salon in the Speransky house in St. Petersburg, has a brilliant education. She has published more than 15 books in Russian, French and German. Pushkin, July 30, 1830, to his fiancée: “Yesterday, Mrs. Bagreeva, Speransky’s daughter, sent for me to wash my hair because I did not comply with the formalities, but I really do not have enough strength. II do not go out much “.
We don’t go out much either, but we don’t write letters to the children either, the kind that could stay in the family and pass from hand to hand. Semyon Leskov, an officer of the spiritual, an experienced researcher, wrote in 1836 to his son Nikolai Leskov, the future famous writer, a letter in which, as he emphasized, “I would like to pour out my whole soul to you. ” “Listen to me. and do what I tell you: 1º. For nothing in the world betray the faith of your parents. 2º. Respect your mother with all your heart until her grave. 3º. Love all your neighbors in general, without one do not neglect, do not mock 4. Do not be exclusively partial to anything, because any partiality leads to blindness 5. I advise you to choose acquaintances and friends equal to you in rank and status, with only a good upbringing 6 – f.Be jealous in your service, but not to the point of recklessness, always preserving your health, so that in old age you will not be a cripple. and at 35 years of your age I advise you to find a friend for yourself, in whose choice be careful , because all your well-being depends on it, do not use humiliating measures, without glory 10. Be grateful to all your benefactors. 11 Respect girls, so that your sister is not sometimes the object of any kind of reproach.
Semyon Leskov to his son Nikolai: Between 25 and 35 years of your age, I advise you to look for a girlfriend for yourself, when choosing which one to be careful, because all your well-being depends on it. Photo: Wikipedia
There is nothing special in these rules, there is no transcendent wisdom in them, but the main thing is desire, the main thing is a direct appeal to the child, the son, as a “being” who “more than others.” he occupied all the “thoughts” of him. And yet this card is not burned, it is not thrown away, it does not disappear. It was preserved for Andrei, the grandson, to publish in his father’s biography, which is clearly and understandably called “The Life of Nikolai Leskov.”
What to say? It seems time to sit down and write a letter to your son and daughter, preferably on a strong, thick piece of paper, beginning like this: “Dear friends, my children! All my thoughts are only for you! Take care of yourself! yourself, take care of others, do not harm another what you do not want for yourself. There is nothing better than these words to express love to people. Move, think about the future, build the future, be for yourself and for everyone, never belittling anyone. And also, be happy, enjoy every day!”