Yes, they came up with a very simple thing: if they said “yes” to you, it means “yes”; if they said “no”, it is “no”, and not “well, it’s hard for you, or something, well, at least let’s use a pen”. If neither of these two options has given you the voice, it is better not to play guessing games, but to ask again if you have understood each other correctly. “I’m not sure” and “I don’t know” are not the same as “yes”.
It would seem that a culture of active consent is a great idea. But it was quickly overplayed with jokes about receipts or agreements before sex. Like, they lived, they cannot have sex without documents and signatures, without romance. I never miss an opportunity to laugh, but when I see jokes about hired sex, I automatically roll my eyes.
In my experience, the more a person jokes about “should I write a receipt before each sex?”, the more likely they are in a private setting to say something inconsistent: silently remove the condom, ignore the request, or not listen. the refusal And stronger the desire to force him to write the notorious receipt “I promise to behave properly.”
Talking about fixing up before sex in such jokes is described as ridiculous, stupid, and as unattractive as possible. Although in practice it all depends on how exactly you do it. Absolutely any action, if desired, can be described in such a way that it seems stupid, unpleasant, and you don’t want to do it. You can offer to have breakfast together, or you can “eat Khryuchev.” You can offer to have a good time, or you can “go crazy in black in the best thieves’ traditions.” I think the analogy is clear, as is the portrait of the speaker in each case.
It’s the same in sex: whatever you call a ship, that’s how it will float. If you ridicule every action and the initiator of such a conversation, then, of course, there is no point in arguing. As, perhaps, in the interaction of people who are so different in their understanding of comfortable and safe sex.