Mom is the first and most important word in all life, as the famous nursery rhyme says. When we grow up, we understand how complex this role is, how multifaceted and irreplaceable. Of course, psychologists talk a lot about the relationship between mother and child, but sometimes writers manage to talk about it too. On the occasion of International Mother’s Day, which is celebrated today in some countries of Europe and Asia, the columnist for BURO. Anna Popova collected a dozen books on motherhood.
“Having a son gave me the courage to build my own life. I learned to love my son, but not to seek to make him my property; I figured out how to teach him to learn on his own.”
Despite the book’s title, one of the most important American writers and poets of the 20th century had no daughter, just a son. But in the broad sense of the word, Maya calls a variety of women daughters. “Among them are blacks and whites, Jews and Muslims, Asians, Hispanics, Indians and Aleuts…” she says.
“Letter” to Angelou is a wise essay and an essay on a variety of topics: growing up and religion, the first sexual experience and the experience of parenthood, life’s problems and dreams. All this narrated with a truly maternal intonation: with delicacy, with kindness and without moralizing.
“Older parents are not our friends. Our elderly parents are our elderly parents. This is a special type of relationship, extremely specific, built on the need for communication and, by its very nature, it is not a pleasure, but a test. A test of our ability to help them, love them, respect them for who they are, and not as we wish with all our hearts that they were.”
When we were children, we thought “I want my mother to live forever”. Having matured, we add “and may she not grow old.” Israeli artist and designer Sasha Galitsky, who teaches woodcarving to people in a nursing home, knows that some processes are unavoidable and then advises how to find a common language with those loved ones, but, due to age and sometimes , to the disease, changed. parents.
“It is very dangerous to love someone so much, especially your own children. Best of all, he knew from experience, to love a little, just a little; sooner or later they will break your love’s back or wrap him in a shroud, and then, well, you still have the strength for another love.
What is a mother willing to do for her child? Stay up at night, work three shifts, give away the best piece? The dark-skinned slave Sethy is even capable of committing a crime: she deprives her two-year-old daughter of her life, just so that she does not grow up in captivity, like Sethy herself.
The first African-American woman to win the Nobel Prize for Literature, this moving book is based on a true story and raises not only the painful issue of slavery for America, but also the issue of inner fears and inner freedom.
“It is bad and too early to be loved so much in youth, you develop bad habits… Along with motherly love at the dawn of your youth, a promise is made to you that life never fulfills… Later, whenever a woman hugs you, you understand that it is not that. You will constantly return to your mother’s grave, howling like an abandoned dog. Never again, never, never! I am not saying that mothers should be prevented from loving their babies. But I’m sure it would be better if they loved someone else.”
Gary’s moving novel is dedicated to his relationship with the most important woman for the writer: his mother. Speaking of childhood and youth, he recalls from time to time the love and care his mother gave him, her selfless faith in her child. As an adult, the writer bitterly experiences the loss of a loved and important person, who cannot be replaced.
“There are marriages that stay together in bed, there are marriages that flourish in the kitchen, to the sound of the fine music of a table knife and a mixer for whipping egg whites, there are husband-builders who repair, buy from time to time when cheap lumber for their summer house, nails, drying oil and glass wool, others cling to inspiring scandals”
Princess Medea of Colchis killed her own children to take revenge on her unfaithful lover. The main character of Ulitskaya’s story, the Greek woman Medea, is the complete antipodal to her. She never had children by birth, but this did not prevent the woman from loving and supporting her numerous relatives, giving her shelter in her home and a sense of stability and security so important that only a mother can give.
“I have never experienced what it means to be more valuable than anything in the world. I have never been the most important thing in my life to anyone. Even when I was born, Hugo’s death was more important to Ellen than my life. And then I no longer met anyone to whom I could make such claims: why would it mean anything to anyone? It is logical: after all, someone who, even for his own mother, was not loved more than anything in the world, will never be really loved by anyone. Even to himself.”
In this book by the Swedish writer there are several destinations for crippled women at the same time. There is a woman who gave shelter and warmth to three orphans, but she was forced to betray her own daughter and cry for it all her life. There are sisters connected by a common childhood and a strong invisible thread. There is magic and, despite everything, there is love that reconciles each one with her own past.
Caroline Eljacheff, Natalie Einisch
“…the mother’s task is not only to give birth to a child, she must provide him with a field of opportunity in which he can grow as someone different from himself, a different person”
It is believed that the behavior of the mother leaves a mark on the entire future life of the child. French psychoanalysts Eliacheff and Einish decided to look at the difficult relationship between mothers and daughters not on the example of true stories, but in the context of classic books and movies. It will be appreciated by lovers of psychology as well as movie buffs and book lovers.
“To do anything in family life, a complete discord between the spouses or a loving agreement is necessary. When the relationship of the spouses is indeterminate and there is neither one nor the other, it cannot proceed. Many families over the years remain in their old places, hateful to both spouses, only because there is no complete discord and agreement.
Perhaps it is difficult to name a theme that would not be treated in this great novel. But one of the most difficult and painful is motherhood. Can a woman sacrifice a great love or a relationship of fiery passion with a child, and how much will this decision affect both of them?
“For my birthday, I received from my mother stock from all the flower shops in Lausanne. Envious girls made fun of me, headmistresses marveled at such senseless extravagance. I apologized for causing a “disturbance of order”, gave flowers to the patients in the isolation room, hid in my room and sat there for the rest of the day.”
Being loved by a man who is adored by millions is not easy. It is even more difficult to be the son of such a person. María Riva wrote an honest, harsh and sometimes even scandalous book about her great mother and how her life together passed.
“Maggie has a great weakness: she believes that changing someone’s life is good and right. She considers the people she loves to be better than they really are, and to please these ideas, she tries to change everything around them.
Letting go of adult children is hard, and not everyone makes it. The main character Maggie, for example, suddenly decides to fix the personal life of a divorced adult son, because his ex-wife was about to get married. Throughout the novel, the secrets and complexities of the relationship of all members of Maggie’s family are revealed: both sad and not very.
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