speech and voice coach
“About two years ago I had to go through an unpleasant experience: experiencing real burnout. Despite the great love for my job, at some point I came to understand: I was giving all my resources and was not recovering. I realized that there is a difference between rest and recovery: the latter for me is not a normal weekend, but silence with the maximum lack of contact with the outside world.”
I started to give myself some kind of detox: first for a day, then for a longer period of time, for a week. Of course, the main condition was the smooth running of work processes, when I calmly left the business to my team, knowing that they could take care of everything. But recently there have been drastic changes in my life and in the summer I realized that I needed something more.
Follow the link to read another personal story:
How to do the splits in a month after a 6-year break? Personal experience
Why did I challenge myself?
Over the past six months, the pace of life has been crazy: a lot of shooting and acting, breaking away from the producer and “swimming freely,” independently building all business processes. At the same time, it was necessary to adjust the schedule so that such a load did not affect health and spend more time with the family. Due to constant work, it was not possible to realize where I was moving, both at work and in life. Therefore, I decided to “cleanse my head”: leave for a month and turn off the phone, devoting this time to myself.
My mood is important in my job and therefore the need for recovery. I myself manage most of the business tasks and I always have to be “in shape” to keep my business running successfully. These processes can be compared to car maintenance: it needs to be looked after and regularly serviced. And if you give up everything, the result will be sad.
Photo: From the personal archive of Seda Kasparova.
Travel planning
The job is about communication, live and online, so I have to be in touch all the time. But there are moments of maximum concentration when you need to mobilize all your strength, for example, when launching a new product, and moments when you can take a break. This summer the perfect moment came: I had completed a long course and had not yet started a new one. It was decided to go to Portugal, to Cape Roca – this is the westernmost point of Eurasia, a kind of edge of the earth in the ocean. The plan was simple: spend a month without deadlines.
I have a family, so I couldn’t turn off my phone completely. But I deleted all social networks and put the words “on vacation until such date” on my work profile in my avatar. Looking ahead, I will say: it turns out that a lot of time is freed up when you don’t have to constantly check what’s new in the news feed, who wrote to you…
The story of mastering the most difficult asana:
“I mastered the chin stand, overcoming fear.” Personal story and opinion from a yoga trainer.
first week
I remember my first digital detox experience was in a settlement on Solovki – it just happened. In Portugal I also lived in a village and I noticed that there was a slight difference between these two places in terms of isolation: in both there was no internet or TV, but incredibly beautiful nature awaited me.
I had long dreamed of seeing the ocean, so it immediately seemed to me that I was in a magical place. The ocean in real life is simply stunning. Every day you approach a cliff, look at the endless expanse of water and experience euphoria.
It is true that the first day after my arrival I was overcome with anxiety and panic. It was unusual that for the first time in a year the meeting calendar was empty, no one called and I started to get nervous in case I missed something important. Fortunately, there are techniques that allow you to verbally agree with your anxiety, like with a person. They helped me a lot.
The first week I read, because I brought with me about 10 books that I couldn’t get yet. I also walked a lot, for five to six hours. I walked like this or while listening to music, audiobooks, I had an amazing experience when you can walk slowly somewhere without a fixed destination. And she kept up her fitness with exercises, but not exhausting ones: she included in her daily routine running and yoga classes overlooking the ocean.
Photo: From the personal archive of Seda Kasparova.
Second week
In Moscow I got up early, but in Portugal I wanted to wake up even earlier. I also didn’t go to bed after midnight, as all the entertainment establishments in the town closed from 18:00 to 19:00. Before that time, it was necessary to have dinner, then read, brush your teeth and go to bed – so day after day passed. In the morning, after waking up, I did exercises, walked and read again.
I lived a very simple life, one could even call it “routine”, but in a good way: it gives you a feeling of security, confidence that everything will be fine. That’s when I really started to relax. I managed to fully understand and convey to myself that without internal harmony no work process is possible in the future. So, in the second week, I realized: “The holidays have begun!”
I surrounded myself with a pleasant atmosphere: I bought flowers, read by candlelight. I ate food prepared with the freshest ingredients and enjoyed its taste: when we look at the screen of the smartphone, even during lunch, it is difficult to really feel and appreciate what is on the plate.
And I just sat, looked at the ocean and talked to myself about the most important things: dreams, fears, doubts. With the daily workload and hectic pace of life, there is not enough time for this.
Photo: From the personal archive of Seda Kasparova.
Third and fourth week
I spent the first half of my vacation on myself, and the second half on communication with my family. The third week my husband came to visit me, who had not been on vacation for long either, and we had a great time together. Then he flew to Moscow and for the last week I rested with the child. Of course, my daughter wanted entertainment and entertainers, so now I say that the fourth week “ate up” my wonderful experience of living in silence.
This helped me understand my mistake and next time I will organize everything differently. First I will spend time with my family, talk to everyone, make everyone happy and then I will leave two weeks for myself.
To be honest, by the end of the vacation I realized that I was even missing work: while I was out of communication, a lot of great ideas came to my head and I couldn’t wait to start implementing them. I even took notes, recorded voice messages for myself, so that I could send them to my team later and not forget anything.
Before I left, I prepared a photo shoot for myself, the most beautiful and feminine of my life. It was important to capture the state I was in.
Photo: From the personal archive of Seda Kasparova.
What did I understand?
A whole month without work chats and social networks helped me calm down and listen to myself, because we usually don’t listen to ourselves. We read other people’s posts, watch other people’s videos, but these are not our thoughts. We forget who we are, where we are going, what we want. Many people are generally afraid to be alone with themselves, because this is not always easy and pleasant.
After going somewhere and disconnecting the connection, you have the opportunity to be alone with the most important person in your life, yourself, and honestly ask him or her how he or she feels.
Of course, the detox process should be simple.
You can’t just turn off your phone one day for a month and say, “I’m so tired of you all,” but at the same time periodically keep thinking in your head, “How are you doing?”
It is even worse when, upon your return, you are “greeted” by a ton of things to do, because before leaving you did not bother to sort out work matters with your colleagues as much as possible. It is important to “prepare the ground” and warn family and friends.
Would you recommend a digital detox? Yes, especially for those who feel that they have stagnated in development: there are no new ideas, thoughts, when a person does not understand where he is going, what he is doing and why he lives. Anyone who needs to “clear their brain” to listen to themselves.
I returned to Moscow in a different way than I usually do after a vacation: “I have a lot of energy, I’ll start burning out now, and I’ll burn out again in a few months.” I feel great happiness inside, without attachment to anything, just by itself.
Another personal experience – follow the link:
“I was bored and waiting for it to end.” A personal story about falling in love with savasana
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