The very phrase “serious intentions” scares both men and women when it comes to starting a family. This is because there is too much “heaviness” in this formulation, while each of us strives for an easy and interesting relationship. Nobody wants to burden themselves beforehand.
communication expert, psychologist
“If a woman is really interested in starting a family, then she should not resort to the phrase “serious intentions”, because the man will definitely run away. To achieve results, try to approach your plans easier and simpler.”
People create marriages and get married on their own time. Not only men may not be ready for a serious relationship, but also women. If you immediately announce big plans to a potential partner, there is a high probability that he will quickly disappear from the horizon. If a woman strives to have a satisfying and inspiring relationship, many men will be magnetically attracted to her.
Think about what you want to create: hyperresponsibility or mutual support, exhaustion or inspiration. No matter what your intentions are when entering into a relationship, you must count on this result.
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Is the man planning to get married or not? Today it doesn’t mean anything. At first you may not want to, but then you change your mind. If a couple has an easy and interesting relationship, then they do not need to think about whether they should propose marriage or not, experiencing a state of fear, as if before jumping over a huge abyss. And, on the contrary, you can build your relationship so seriously that in a couple of years it falls apart.
If you are forward-thinking and try to model the interaction in which everyone in the union feels good and comfortable and where everyone feels loved and affectionate, then you will be able to create a solid and reliable foundation. The truth is that the fact of marriage means nothing. We need to remember this.
So, the first tool is to change a serious relationship for an easy one. The second important point is that if a woman wants to get married and is waiting for a proposal from a man, then she should think about how to become the person with whom she wants to start a family. It’s about the ability to fill, inspire and be resourceful. If you are not, you should not blame a man for not being ready for a serious relationship. The partner does not propose marriage because he does not feel such a need. Instead of desperately trying to move things forward toward your wedding, ask yourself every morning, “What can I give for my man and our relationship?”
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When a woman builds a relationship with two filters: “I need a serious relationship” or “you owe me,” this behavior greatly burdens men, because it is wrong to live with the expectation that you are obliged to make someone happy. Decide who and to what extent gives and gives energy, support, love. Relationships are almost a balance, in which it is advisable to give a little more than you take away.
And here we come to the conclusion that the happiness of a couple does not depend so much on how serious the man is. Relationships develop in the process of understanding that one should look at one’s chosen one not through the prism of ideality from the point of view of marriage, but as a unique and cool person with whom one wants to spend time. If a similar goal is achieved, then the woman asks: “Should we get married?” the partner will calmly say: “Yes, of course!” Many men who swore to themselves that they would never get married resigned from their positions and happily went to the registry office with a woman when they realized that she was the one.
Signs that you can expect problems in this relationship:
What types of men are best to stay away from from the start? Instructions from a psychologist.
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