psychologist
“It is generally accepted that women are the most affected by gender bias, but this is not entirely true. Men also have a hard time due to the norms imposed by society, because many times the stereotypical behavior expected of them prevents them from leading a normal life. Let’s find out why the well-known belief that “boys don’t cry” is dangerous and how it harms the stronger sex in a real situation.”
On toxic masculinity
The problem that has arisen that a certain model of behavior is expected of men must be seen through the prism of a concept such as masculinity. This term refers to a set of abstract characteristics responsible for the gender of representatives of the stronger sex.
Masculinity can be not only external (style of clothing, haircut), but also dictate rules of behavior. We are used to seeing a man from the point of view of strength, aggressiveness, lack of emotions.
If we talk about the image that has developed in Russia, then most people see the following qualities as the main characteristics of the stronger sex: strict self-control, disregard for the manifestation of emotions, self-sacrifice, patriotism.
Therefore, all the indicated moments, which can be considered weaknesses, are considered absolutely inappropriate in the context of the compiled portrait, including tears and other manifestations of feelings.
Photo: PixelsEffect / istockphoto.com
What is healthy masculinity?
Before thinking about common clichés, it’s also worth noting that there are two types of masculinity: healthy and toxic. In the first case, we are talking about positive and logical theses (courage, energy, positive attitude towards women). In the second, we are talking about negative rules, if they are not followed, one can easily obtain the status of “weak”.
And if healthy masculinity presupposes restraint and self-confidence, toxic masculinity categorically states: a man cannot cry and show feelings! Consequently, the second concept is quite negative, since it is based on a negative connotation.
Where does toxic masculinity come from?
Strict rules appeared in society a long time ago, since the times when a woman was assigned the role of keeper of the home, and a man was assigned the role of breadwinner. Back then, representatives of the stronger sex were seen as physically developed, resilient and aggressive, without giving any importance to emotional intelligence.
Today, society has changed and so have the roles of each man and woman. The categorical patriarchal structure has already been pushed aside and no longer functions as before.
Wrong attitudes begin from childhood, when mothers (and often fathers too) raise children according to the principle “men do not cry.” This is the first manipulation against a child, which will be further fueled by the media, movies, games and other authorities of society.
Photo: glegorly / istockphoto.com
What are the dangers of toxic masculinity?
Trying to fit into a certain image, a man can earn a lot of money, become aggressive, show the necessary qualities in his character, but not feel happy. Trying hard to look like a “real man”, he will always focus on confirming his gender.
This approach, including the prohibition of the expression of emotions, not only damages the mental balance of the man, but can even threaten the woman, since toxic masculinity forces him to be aggressive towards her as well.
The most common consequence of imposing certain rules of the game is the moment associated with advertising a man as a tireless man with a constant desire to have sexual relations. Because of this, many representatives of the stronger sex feel inferior because they do not correspond to a certain pattern.
Furthermore, toxic ideas about a real man prevent one from achieving fulfillment in a career that is generally considered feminine: modeling, design. As a result, it becomes obvious that the principle “boys don’t cry” works against men, preventing them from finding their place in the world.
The list was prepared by psychologists, coaches and personal growth specialists:
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