candidate of psychological sciences, founder of the online school of psychological professions “Psychodemiya”
“What is modesty? This trait is generally perceived as a virtue. But what does this mean from a psychological point of view? There is no single definition here. In the broadest sense of the word, modesty is a person’s ability not to overestimate himself, to recognize his strengths and weaknesses without distortions or exaggerations. “It’s about a state of balance by paying attention to yourself and the world around you.”
Modesty has always been highly valued in many cultures, especially those where the values of collectivism prevailed. In East Asian countries, harmony, social unity and respect for elders are key. In such societies, modest behavior and avoidance of personal aggrandizement are often considered indicators of respect for others.
In Islamic cultures, this trait has deep roots and relates to both the internal (spiritual) and external manifestations of a person. Modest behavior and dress are important parts of faith. In Indian culture, this trait is often associated with spirituality and respect for tradition.
At the same time, in some cultures modesty is not presented as a primary value. For example, in the United States, where ideas of individualism and personal achievement dominate, she can be seen as weakness – inability to express oneself, to move forward. This is precisely what happens in highly competitive societies, where people constantly compete for resources, jobs or social recognition. Of course, modesty is not considered here to adorn a person, because it becomes an obstacle to his self-affirmation.
It is important to note that attitudes towards these things in society can change, whether under the pressure of globalization, due to social factors or the influence of other cultures.
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Advantages of modesty
Modesty is believed to be decorative. Let’s try to figure out exactly how he does this. To begin with, a modest person is usually very aware of their internal processes, needs and desires. You are also usually more sensitive to the aspirations of others, which allows you to interact harmoniously with others.
Humble people usually demonstrate a high degree of social adaptability because their attitude toward themselves does not depend on external recognition or approval. This allows them to adapt more easily to changing circumstances, remain calm under stress, and be more resilient to psychological trauma.
It is important not to confuse modesty with low self-esteem.. These are different things. A person with low self-esteem may exhibit behavior that appears to be modesty, but is based on inferiority. It arises from doubt. Humble people are aware of their value, they simply do not seek to exaggerate or diminish it.
A person with low self-esteem may avoid saying what they think not because they are reserved, but because they are afraid of being criticized. He is afraid of being judged. A modest person in a similar situation may also keep her opinion to himself, but for different reasons. For example, this will be due to the desire to let others speak or the desire to listen to their calculations. Criticism doesn’t scare him.
More on the topic of finding inner harmony and self-love:
Who is a self-sufficient person and how to become one? Signs and advice from a psychologist.
Why are some modest and others not?
This personality trait is formed under the influence of both innate characteristics and life experiences. It is assumed that genetic and biochemical factors can influence a person’s character and temperament. Therefore, introverts who naturally prefer to avoid the spotlight may be more likely to display modesty.
Life experience and the socialization process also play an important role in the formation of this trait. The environment in which a person grows up, their family, cultural traditions, education and social interactions are important. As we said above, in some cultures modesty is highly valued and is therefore actively instilled from a very young age.
The opposite of modesty is not considered the desire to actively express oneself, but rather a trait such as arrogance. A person who suffers from it shows insufficient respect towards others, considering themselves better or more important. He refuses to see his weaknesses and mistakes. Arrogance can also manifest as a reluctance to accept authority or follow generally accepted norms and rules. Modesty, on the other hand, implies respect for social structures and values.
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Disadvantages of modesty
Arrogance can lead to conflict, misunderstanding and even isolation, but excessive modesty can sometimes lead to nothing good. It can become an obstacle to realizing your potential and hinder career success.
For example, a humble person may avoid receiving deserved recognition or not express their rights and needs in a timely manner. In a professional environment where active self-expression is key, being too modest will make it difficult to successfully promote and implement ideas.
What is excessive modesty? Where is the line? We are talking about the manifestations of a person who tends to downplay his achievements, talents and abilities to such an extent that this begins to be perceived as false modesty or even low self-esteem. This behavior can be due to several reasons.
Reasons for excess modesty
It may be the result of cultural or family beliefs. For example, in some societies people are strongly encouraged to “not boast” or “not be above their status.” In such cultures, a person may hide his or her successes or talents to avoid envy or criticism. The same goes for displaying wealth and success. In some communities this may simply be unsafe and may be a way to protect yourself against possible rejection or criticism. In this case, a person feels that by demonstrating his or her true abilities or achievements, he or she becomes vulnerable in front of others. This may be due to the characteristics of the environment and people’s attitude to the achievements of others, as well as the desire to fit into a certain social group, or it may be associated with personal doubts. Even after achieving certain successes, a person may feel that they do not deserve recognition. It seems to him that her successes were the result of prevailing circumstances and not of personal effort or talent. Modesty here will be associated with awareness of the nature of success, understanding the role of chance and the contribution of other people to your achievements. Because of this, a person will not actively demonstrate his or her achievements.
Photo: istockphoto.com
How to develop proper modesty?
Developing humility requires self-reflection, awareness, and constant effort. You must start with deep self-knowledge, understanding your strengths and weaknesses. It is not necessary to constantly compare yourself with others. This is your life. It is important to try to be a little better than yesterday and focus on personal growth. This way you can focus on your own development and not competing with others.
Another key to developing humility is to practice expressing gratitude for what you have. It will allow you to see and appreciate what life and other people give. It is also important to understand that learning does not end after school or university. The constant search for new knowledge reminds us that the world is vast and that our experience and knowledge can always be expanded.
By listening to and respecting the opinions of others (even if they differ from ours), we develop openness and tolerance. When it comes time to share your successes, it’s important to recognize the contributions of those around you. You must realize that many of your achievements are the result of a combination of effort, luck and circumstances.
Meeting different people and immersing yourself in other cultures can also broaden your horizons and show you how diverse and surprising the world around you is. Also, try to be in nature more often. Looking at the sky and passing clouds, relaxing in the shade of ancient trees and admiring the raging elements, you understand how insignificant you are on the scale of the universe. This goes a long way toward developing modesty.
To find harmony:
What is the Tao: 7 laws whose observance makes a person truly happy
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