psychologist, NLP practitioner, member of the Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapy Association
“Our actions play an important role in destiny, determining our interaction with the world and with ourselves. Understanding and changing ineffective patterns helps a person achieve greater harmony, self-actualization, and a better quality of life.”
What is a behavior pattern?
Pattern translated from English means “form, model, diagram.” This is a stable and stable form of behavior and response of a person to certain situations. A repeating pattern or pattern.
It reflects the reactions of people in different conditions. It can manifest itself both in the form of internal processes (thoughts, feelings) and in external actions.
Every day we act in a specific way. This process is unconscious. Patterns can form under the influence of traditions, culture and personal experience. They often begin in early childhood and remain stable throughout life unless recognized and changed.
We also remember what was useful in past experiences and refer to them in later situations.
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The principle of operation of the patterns is based on the repetition of certain actions or reactions without having to think about them each time. It is a kind of “automatic” response to certain stimuli. That is, our “autopilot”.
For example, a person experiencing stress may habitually begin to bite their nails or express their nervousness through facial expressions. This behavior becomes regular and imperceptible. These actions affect a person’s emotional state and interaction with others.
Advantages and disadvantages
Some behavioral patterns contribute to a person’s successful functioning in society by helping him or her cope with life’s challenges and ensuring quick reaction in stressful situations.
Others, on the contrary, can generate problems in interaction with the outside world, making adaptation difficult and leading to negative consequences and bad habits.
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It affects many aspects of life, including relationships with other people, emotional state, decision making, career success, etc.
The advantages of patterns include their protective function, the development of stability and predictability, the ability to relieve the brain, and the ability to help a person cope with stress and difficult situations.
However, there are also important disadvantages. These are limitations, obstacles to development, conflicts, the formation of bad habits and ineffective reactions.
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Types of behavioral factors
In fact, there are many patterns of behavior. Therefore, they are usually divided into categories.
Adaptive and dysfunctional
The first type helps to successfully adapt to the external environment and achieve goals. An example here is regular studying. When a person constantly learns new things to be able to perform in their professional activities.
The second type interferes with conformation and negatively affects the desire for what is desired. Let’s say avoiding conflicts in any way. The result is an accumulation of unresolved problems.
Conscious and unconscious
In the first case, a person is aware of his actions and acts in a certain way. Let’s say a man constantly plays sports. Over time, this becomes a regular habit.
In the second, actions are carried out based on beliefs and past experiences. You can help notice them by working with a psychologist. For example, if a woman is angry, she automatically starts talking loudly. This leads to conflict.
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interpersonal and intrapersonal
The first type occurs when we interact with others. Let’s say a person always looks for compromises in conflict situations. As a result, both sides find common solutions.
The second is reflection and relationship with oneself. Imagine that a man analyzes what happened and does not express emotions, keeping them to himself.
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How can I change them?
There are several ways to change behavior patterns.
1. Main step – awareness and understanding own behavior, search for alternative strategies of action.
But to do this you need to be able to see and admit your mistakes. Otherwise, a person will constantly defend himself and seek confirmation of outdated and ineffective patterns.
For example, a subject facing social anxiety resorts to avoidance. He can begin to apply self-acceptance strategies, practice communication skills, and develop self-confidence. Or he continues to prove to himself and others that this is the norm.
2. Find hidden benefits. Remember that there are cases where it is difficult to abandon your pattern forever. So ask yourself the question: why do you need this template? The answer will help you understand the secondary benefits.
3. Analysis. See in which area of activity you have problems. Think about how you act, how you behave in conflict situations. For example, if you haven’t been in a relationship for a long time, find out how you communicate with people. Maybe you should reconsider your actions. A psychologist will help you figure this out.
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4. Activate search. Typically, a certain learned behavior triggers a “catalyst.” If you discover it, you will be able to apply new, more productive strategies.
5. New behavior. Behave differently. Tip: It is better to start small. Let’s say you decide to be proactive at work. Share your ideas with one of your colleagues rather than in a general meeting. Over time, other behaviors will become part of your arsenal.
6. Focus on results. Always remember the consequences of your actions and actions. A positive ending will help increase motivation to change.
7. Specific plan. To make it easier, you can create instructions after which you will change your usual behavior.
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