What threatens loneliness?
We need communication and support: some more, others less. But alone, most people degrade and wither. An analysis of 15 studies showed an association between personal life and the early onset of dementia symptoms. The loner lost Singles and widowers were at risk. People who never married had a 42% higher risk of dementia later in life than those with a regular partner. The work was published in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery & Psychiatry.
“This is not true for everyone, but there is such a trend. Social isolation worsens the emotional background: lonely people are more likely to experience depression and anxiety disorders, impaired cognitive functions,” said Dmitry Petelin, a psychotherapist at the Clinical Center from Sechenov University. , explained to RG.
Lack of communication causes a feeling of dissatisfaction and makes a person suffer, and this leads to early “death” of brain cells. But the body begins to “fall apart” from other ailments: for example, the risk of heart attack and stroke increases.
“In itself, a short-term feeling of loneliness is not dangerous, but if it remains in this state for a long time, it becomes chronic. A person constantly experiences anxiety and fear, which leads to a persistent increase in blood concentration of cortisol, the ‘stress hormone’, and as a result increases the risk of developing anxiety and depressive disorders,” Yevgenia Atkova, deputy medical director of the Nearmedic clinic, told RG. “Data from the American Heart Association confirm the association of excessive cortisol levels with the risk of developing coronary heart disease, myocardial infarction and stroke. The number of cases of premature death in lonely people is 26% higher than in socially active”.
entangled in the web
In fact, you can feel alone in the family. And loneliness is getting younger.
“The factors that cause loneliness in older people are, as a rule, the death of a spouse or retirement. But now there is a clear trend towards an increase in loneliness in adolescents and young people: the so-called generation of buzzers The reason for this is the active use of social networks and less in comparison with people ” mature “age experience in regulating emotions,” notes Evgenia Atkova.
Experts also talk about the negative role of social networks for dating. Finding a partner is now easy – just make an application and a photo. But this simplicity is deceptive: people do not value the contact that has arisen, they do not make efforts to develop relationships, it is so easy to reconnect today and tomorrow, on a date. As a result of this carousel, the person becomes disillusioned and left alone.
“The crowding of people in big cities, the hectic pace of life, great psycho-emotional stress – all this makes many close themselves in a shell. But this is a time bomb,” says Olga Shuppo, scientific director of the network Grand Clinic. “Socialization requires psycho-emotional adaptation, which is closely related to the work of our hormonal system. This, in turn, affects both the immune system and the functioning of other body systems. An imbalance occurs. Reduced immunity is a risk of developing various diseases and early death.”
The simplest answer is to take care of those relationships -with family, friends, colleagues- that you already have, and take care of expanding your social circle.
“To minimize the harmful effects of social isolation, one should not hesitate to seek help from psychologists and psychotherapists. Often, in order not to feel alone, a person just needs to be listened to,” says Evgenia Atkova.
Much also depends on how a person relates to others.
“The four best-known relationship vectors are secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized,” explains Olesya Tolstukhina, a clinical psychologist at medical technology company Doctor Nearby. “Anything but a secure attachment style can lead to somatoform disorders or, in cases more severe, including organic diseases”. The psychologist points out that intentional activity makes a significant contribution (40%) to the long-term experience of happiness and well-being; in other words, the focus of attention on other people and the outside world, the willingness to interact with it.
“Here it is important to experience and express gratitude, learn to forgive, develop optimism, strengthen relationships with family and friends, learn not to compare yourself with others, do what you love more often, enjoy the current moment in life and, of course, supposed”. , take care of your body, your health,” advises Tolstukhina.
the science of lies
How do you think people can tell the real from the fake when they’re dying of loneliness? You meet a person, you try to make them interesting and you completely make them up, you endow them with qualities that they don’t even have in sight. It is about illusions, you – too. Is he a cute fool? – you find him clever; Do you think you’re close? – but by your side he has seven spans on his forehead; Do you notice your sagging breasts? – not scary, you will find it peculiar; is not polite? – your colleges will be enough for two; he is a miser, what light has he not seen? – had a difficult childhood; lout? – it just stays natural. And you still don’t realize the obvious, but your eyes already hurt, that is what is called family problems, a problem, strictly speaking, when we are not capable of continuing to invent ourselves; and then the moment of sadness, anger, hatred comes, we are trying to glue the broken – for the sake of children or simply because we prefer to endure what is unknown, rather than finally being left alone.
Romain Gary, French writer with Russian roots, the only two-time winner of the Prix Goncourt in the world. Photo: Wikipedia
Oksana Drapkina, Director of the National Research Center for Preventive Medicine of the Ministry of Health of Russia, Academician of the Russian Academy of Sciences:
– People with the highest level of optimism were more likely to live to age 85 and lived 11-15% longer compared to those who thought negatively. Many believe that we are prone to pessimism or, on the contrary, we enjoy life, regardless of the circumstances, simply because of our character. But this is only partially true. Twin studies have shown that only 25% of our optimism is programmed into our genes. The rest is up to us and how we react to unpleasant events in our lives.
How to train yourself to be more positive:
The best possible method for me
The essence of the method is to imagine yourself in the future, in which you have already achieved all your life goals and all your problems have been solved. For 15 minutes, write down the specific accomplishments you’d like to accomplish as if you’ve already done it, and then spend 5 minutes imagining and feeling the feel of your new reality.
Journal of positive experiences
In it you need to write all the good things that happened over the past day. Psychologists say that over time, focusing on positive things, if done regularly, will change your world view for the better.
The practice of expressing gratitude improves the skills of a positive attitude towards life, breaks the typical negative thinking style, replacing it with an optimistic one.